things you never thought you (or anyone) would say

Life with any toddler is a bit, well, crazy.  Life with my toddler is always crazy, and often hilarious.  That is, if I can stop and appreciate the humor of it all.  So in an attempt to do that (and not tear my hair out for having to tell him to stop doing something for the fiftieth time), I decided to start a list of things I've had to say to him - often on multiple occasions - that are phrases I doubt anyone ever thought they would say or hear.

Don't pour water on the vacuum.
No driving cars on the piano.
Don't wipe your chili on your toes.
Don't stand in your potty.
Please take a bite instead of licking the butter off your toast.
Don't head-butt the floor.  Or the cupboard.
We have to take your clothes off before you can get in the tub.
You can't drink goldfish crackers.
People don't wear leashes like dogs.
Don't put your feet in your cereal.
Don't put dirt in your ears.
You have yogurt in your eyebrow.  And your nose.

And here are just a few pictures of my boy being his crazy, messy, hilarious self.

(Yes, he's wearing the dog leash.  And yes, he did that all on his own.)