Friday, August 17, 2012

10 tips for new moms

Having just made it through the first two weeks with a newborn for the second time, I've been thinking about what helped me get through it, and what advice I'd give to moms in their first few weeks.  I feel like a lot of times we're coached so carefully through the pregnancy and delivery, and then the sweet nurses send us home from the hospital, and we have a base knowledge of what to do with a baby, but when it comes right down to the whole being a mom of a newborn, we're kind of thinking "What now?"  So here's my list of ten things I'd tell new moms about getting through the first week or two with a newborn.


1. Stock up on food before the baby is born.  Frozen meals, fast or easy meals (lots of cereal, pasta, etc.), and snacks are so nice to have around when you're either too tired to cook, or baby is crying, or you need to get off your feet because you're supposed to be recovering.  Even if you know you'll have family or friends helping you out with meals, it's still nice to have some backups, and food for breakfast, lunch, and snacks.

2. 3 hour nap limit.  Don't let baby sleep longer than three hour stretches during the day.  Babies are almost always more nocturnal when they're born, and this will usually help sort that out, and encourage their longer stretches of sleep to be at night.  And they also need to eat!  I know there are lots and lots of books and theories out there on sleep schedules, but this has really helped with my babies.  Both of them were sleeping at least one 4-5 hour stretch at night (followed by 3 hour stretches) fairly consistently by about 1 1/2 weeks old.  There will be good nights and bad nights, but limiting nap length during the day, coupled with swaddling (see my next tip) really helps with getting new babies to sleep in slightly longer stretches at night, and just start to get on a good sleep schedule.

3. Learn how to swaddle.  The biggest bonus to swaddling: babies love being swaddled!  They're used to being all warm and snug!  They'll sleep much better all swaddled tight. There are lots of different types of swaddle blankets that you can buy at baby stores, but I feel like they're usually overpriced, especially when a regular receiving blanket will do the trick.  And if you're anything like me, you got lots and lots of receiving blankets from friends and family.  See my previous post for how to swaddle with a receiving blanket.  You, baby, and your wallet will all be happier if you learn how to swaddle.


4. Put the scale away!  At least for a few weeks.  I know, we're all anxious to get back to our pre-pregnancy weight, and to wear real clothes again.  But those first weeks are all about recovering and adjusting to life with your little one, not trying to diet and exercise.  Especially if you're breastfeeding, you really shouldn't be dieting.  Eat healthy, of course - that's best for you and baby!  But don't start obsessing over the numbers on the scale for a while.  It takes time.

5. Invest in a sling and/or bouncer seat.  My babies have loved both.  It's a great way to keep them feeling snuggled, and keep them close, but still have your hands free for a little while.  Even as tiny as they are, your arms do start to get tired after holding them for hours.  The sling is great for keeping them right with you, especially if you're going out.  And the bouncer is great for when you just need a little break, or need to take care of an older child, or cook at the stove, etc.
*Update: I would also add a Moby wrap or other type of baby carrier that allows baby to be snuggled up to Mommy if you prefer those over a sling. Just something to keep them snug and give your arms a break.
All snuggled up in his sling.  Don't let the disgruntled face fool you - he really does love it!  He just didn't like the sun in his face for the picture.


6. Don't give up on breastfeeding.  It's hard, especially if this is your first baby, or this baby just doesn't seem to be figuring it out.  But there's a learning curve, so don't give up too quickly.  Give it at least a few weeks, and talk to your doctor or a lactation consultant if you have serious concerns that your baby's not getting enough milk, or if there seem to be other problems.  But the benefits of breastfeeding, both physically and emotionally for both you and baby, are so worth it if you're able to do it.  Plus, formula is crazy expensive!

7. Strategically place pacifiers and burp cloths.  You don't want to have to go hunting for them in the middle of the night, or when you're covered in spit up, or when you're just feeling too tired to get up and find one.  I keep a pacifier in the crib, the bouncer, the diaper bag, and a few spares in the hanging organizer in the nursery.  Keep a burp cloth on hand anywhere you feed the baby - on the couch, the rocking chair, in the diaper bag, etc.

3 in 1!  Swaddled, in a bouncer seat, with a pacifier at the ready!

8. Buy Pampers Swaddlers newborn diapers.  I don't usually like to promote specific brands, but these are definitely the best newborn diapers I've found.  They fit better, leak less often, and are just really great compared to the other newborn diapers I've used.  To be honest, I don't love Pampers in bigger sizes, but the newborn ones I absolutely recommend.

9. Get out of the house.  It feels great to get to sit around in your sweats all the time.  But only for so long before you'll probably start to go a little crazy.  After a week of basically just sitting around all day (you'll be doing lots of sitting with as often as newborns eat!) I need to get out of the house.  Obviously, you still need to be taking it easy - you just had a baby! - but maybe take baby for his first walk around the neighborhood.  Or maybe just go for a drive.  Or leave baby home with Daddy and go to the grocery store, or spoil yourself with a pedicure.  Just something so that you have to shower, and get dressed, and feel slightly more human again, and get a little change of scene.

10. Snuggle!  I think every mom would agree with this one.  Snuggle lots and lots.  Babies love to be snuggled - feeling warm and secure, and hearing your heartbeat (which they've been listening to for the last nine months).  Plus it encourages bonding between you and your baby.  And there's something so irresistibly precious when they're so tiny and new.  Skin-to-skin, or kangaroo care, is a great way to snuggle, promoting bonding and breastfeeding, and helping regulate a newborn's body temperature, breathing, and heartbeat.  (Even though it's often talked about for premie babies, it's good for all newborns.) Be sure to get Daddy in on the snuggling too!

Fellow moms, what tips would you add?

26 comments:

  1. The first two weeks are heck. Just get through them, and it gets much easier after that. Noone told me that.
    Also it just keeps getting better. You still have challenges, and they change all the time, but to watch your baby grow and develop just keeps getting more and more and more fun.

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    1. So true! And each new stage definitely brings new challenges (currently trying to figure out the terrible twos...) but it's so fun to watch them learn new things and really become their own person!

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  2. I love this! As mom of three, grandmother of two...this is solid advice. And especially enjoy tip #10. Each child is unique, and will only be a snuggly infant for a short time...take advantage of these early days. Rest, indulge and LOVE these moments!

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    1. Thanks! And it's so true - they don't stay snuggly for long! Definitely enjoy it while you can!

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  3. This is such an amazing article! Thank you, I have a new one on the way and currently have a 5 year old, and these are tips you forget over time! I can't wait to snuggle more and let baby sleep by himself less (that's what I was told by others, train them to sleep by themself) but I have learned in the first few weeks, snuggling is key!

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    1. Thanks! I'm glad to help jog your memory! :) Good luck with your new baby, and definitely snuggle lots. They'll learn to sleep on their own just fine soon enough, especially once they outgrow the super snuggly phase!

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  4. Thank you for the advise! my husband and I are expecting our first in about 8 Weeks. I'm definitely feeling anxious of what's to come. This article is a huge help.

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    1. Glad to help! Good luck with your new little one!

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  5. thank you! found you on pinterest, congrats on your sweet baby!

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  6. This is a great read thank you. Will be passing this onto my friends who are expecting.

    #10 for me is the best I loved snuggling with my baby and still do (she is almost 11 months old) :) ~ Found this link on Pinterest and reading it all the way from Cape Town South Africa :)

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    1. Wow! That's awesome that we can share ideas across the world! :)
      Thanks for reading and sharing! And keep snuggling that baby!

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  7. Just had my third, and this is all good advice. I would say, however, to put the scale away for 3-4 months at least! It takes your body a full year to heal, give yourself time before you worry too much about the weight.

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    1. So true! Post-delivery is all about taking care of your baby and yourself. I've heard lots of people say "It took you nine months to gain the weight, so give yourself at least nine months to lose it!"

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  8. This is all good advice. I would just add: no pacifiers/dummies if you are going to breastfeed. It can cause more problems than it solves. Later, when breastfeeding is well established, you may want to give it a try.
    Also, better than the sling is the foulard. It swaddles the baby against you - perfect! especially in the winter.

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  9. Thanks for the tips! I've heard that some babies have a hard time with pacifiers and breastfeeding. It's never been an issue for my babies, but I know it is for some. And I've never tried a foulard since I don't have one, but I really want to get one, or a Moby wrap, or something like that, for my next baby!

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  10. I actually used a paci for my little one and he breastfed just fine. Actually it helped him to latch better. He and I had a hard time with breastfeeding-so I was pumping and feeding him the bottles. But now, if we don't have a bottle for him, he latches really well and has no problems with breastfeeding.

    And I actually have to disagree with #2. We woke him up a few times during the first week for feedings and he did not appreciate that. And his pediatrician told us not to wake him up. He was gaining weight like crazy anyway and now his feeding schedule is pretty consistent. He eats during the day and just before bed and then sleeps for about 8 hours. And he's only 2 months. We're hoping to keep this schedule. But it is something to discuss with the doctor and also does depend on your lifestyle and the baby.

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    1. Yeah, I used a pacifier with both of mine, and they both had no trouble breastfeeding. I think a lot of it depends on the baby.
      I would say the same with #2. My babies would have slept all day without eating if I didn't wake them up! (Ok, maybe not all day, but far longer than they should have between feedings) So I needed to wake them up to be sure they were eating enough. And this helped get them on a better sleep schedule. But again, I think it depends on the baby. Also, that's awesome that he's sleeping so well at night!

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  11. Love this! Thank you so much! We are expecting our first baby (a little girl!) in January, and I'm already getting a little anxious about the first couple of weeks and months. I keep hearing how hard they are! But this is so nice. I love how simple it all is. :)

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    1. Congratulations and good luck with your little one! I'm a big fan of simple, practical advice, so I hope it helps!

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  12. So glad to see you wearing your baby and promoting babywearing. However, the cradle position shown in the photo is strongly not recommended. Any carry that has the baby's chin on their chest is very dangerous and slings promoting this have been recalled after babies died. There are lots of other great newborn options. :)

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  13. Thanks for the tips!! I will be having our first in February. I am from the states and live in Sweden (since my husband is swedish) and I get overwhelmed thinking about all I don't know, and how all the classes and everything is in Swedish!! It was relieving to read the ten simple tips, and know everything will turn out fine :)

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  14. I got great advice from my pediatrician after my first was born. He said - If you have a newborn (which to me is for a few months) and your house is clean, then something is wrong! Your baby needs all your love and attention and you need your sleep, the dishes, mess, etc will be there when your partner gets home or when your baby has a good day or night. I have had all csections, so cleaning up wasn't even an option for weeks, and making my goal a happy baby rather than a clean house too was helpful. We started a soak bucket for the blowout onesies so laundry only had to be done once a day, and I got used to looking the other way from the dishes. I second the don't look at the scale advice- lots of baby weight doesn't come off until you stop breastfeeding and your metabolism changes and even when the scale says prepregnancy weight- your abs and hips might not be the same! It takes 9 months to put it on and as least as much to take it off.

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  15. This is a great list! I agree with numbers 3,5,6,8, and 10. I love Pampers Swaddlers! Especially the wetness indicator. I do not like my baby to sit in a wet diaper and I want to know immediately that the diaper is wet. I've tried Huggies and my daughter's bottom developed a rash. I tried other brands and have always preferred Pampers Swaddlers.

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  16. This list looks really helpful and makes good sense. I'm having my first baby in August so I have sometime before I can put these in place, but I have a good plan to start with.

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  17. I really enjoyed your article. I'm expecting number 3 and have had some of the same experiences. I don't totally agree about swaddling with receiving blankets. My babies would work out of even the tightest wrap and wake up. One I got the swaddling blankets with either velcro or zippers they slept all night. They are not expensive and can be found at places like Walmart and Target. I struggled for months with breastfeeding my first. I did it for eight months, trying everything everyone suggested. Expensive pumps, diet changes, teas, herbs, supplements, everything and it just did not work for me. I don't like women being made to feel guilty or selfish for not being able to nurse or just not wanting to. It's not as simple as all that. I got really angry when I realized I had allowed so many people to guilt me into keeping with it when it would have served my child better to quit and put her on formula sooner. Nursing is a great thing and I wish it worked for me, but it just doesn't. I didn't even attempt it with my second and nor will I with my third and all I feel is relief. Formula is expensive but most if not all doctors offices will often provide samples for free. They usually have more than they can handle. I just want to stick up for those non-nursing moms. Not everyone has the same experience with nursing. And it is not easy for everyone. Or even possible.

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